Sorrow

I have not worked out much in the past few days, BUT have made significant strides in my grief of Selah. I'm probably not even to the middle of the road - who knows God's journey; however, have really been moved forward by the Lord.

Week before last, when I had some extended time to myself, I got to pray, journal, read, journal. It was not until this past week did I reread my journal entry to my counselor. WOW! I finally was able to sob all they way through it. In the middle of it, was my letter to Selah, my precious daughter. How healing of her loss that was, and knowing that God has stepped every step of my journey before I have even gotten there. It has been some very emotional, raw, sleepless days - but I can now move forward.

In moving forward, I will be able to better address the lies that Satan is hounding me with and speak truth to him. I am worth all this and soooo much more. God vision for me is way more beautiful, passionate, and desiring than Satan's false beauty.

Now that I have progressed, somewhat, emotionally I can progress physically. Amazing that only now do I realize dealing with the mental/emotional took precedence over the physical. It is almost debilitating until you can make progress...

I love the Matthew West song Ruthie has posted on her blog, so I won't copy. Ginny Owens sang at our church this morning. Oh how many times I've heard this song. But this morning it resounating much more closely and clearly. I would not choose to walk this journey, but if that is what God's journey is for me...I will do it.