I did it I did it

I finally got out and rode my bike this evening. Of course, the sun hid itself aaaallll day UNTIL I go out to ride. Where was it when we were swimming? Whatever!

I'm pleased that I have not lost much stamina, but do lack a little in my endurance. Went 6 miles in 31 minutes. Before I was pregnant I was doing about 5 min miles - happy about that. I could have probably gone farther, but wanted to get a feel of where I am. IT FELT SOOOO GOOD!

Other breaking news....
I finally, after a year of wanting, bought me a blendtec blender. Of course I bought a demo off ebay for much less, but it's still a chunk of dough that was hard to part with. However, I know I will be in love and won't have to borrow JRo's anymore! Thanks for sharing friend!

Sorrow

I have not worked out much in the past few days, BUT have made significant strides in my grief of Selah. I'm probably not even to the middle of the road - who knows God's journey; however, have really been moved forward by the Lord.

Week before last, when I had some extended time to myself, I got to pray, journal, read, journal. It was not until this past week did I reread my journal entry to my counselor. WOW! I finally was able to sob all they way through it. In the middle of it, was my letter to Selah, my precious daughter. How healing of her loss that was, and knowing that God has stepped every step of my journey before I have even gotten there. It has been some very emotional, raw, sleepless days - but I can now move forward.

In moving forward, I will be able to better address the lies that Satan is hounding me with and speak truth to him. I am worth all this and soooo much more. God vision for me is way more beautiful, passionate, and desiring than Satan's false beauty.

Now that I have progressed, somewhat, emotionally I can progress physically. Amazing that only now do I realize dealing with the mental/emotional took precedence over the physical. It is almost debilitating until you can make progress...

I love the Matthew West song Ruthie has posted on her blog, so I won't copy. Ginny Owens sang at our church this morning. Oh how many times I've heard this song. But this morning it resounating much more closely and clearly. I would not choose to walk this journey, but if that is what God's journey is for me...I will do it.

Took all day

to do my workout, but it's done.
Julie and I were supposed to meet up this morning - I bailed. Sooo exhausted from yesterday.
Supposed to meet again at 3:30 - I bailed. I slept until 3pm and Graham...well it's 5:15 and he's still sleeping. He did have a shot today and is still trying to readjust to a normal sleep schedule.

So I finally got my lard butt up at 4:30 and did it. I have a feeling I will be dripping sweat until after I cook dinner and clean the kitchen. But worth it since I waited all day to do it.

Swimming again....

Julie and I hit the pool today. WOW! It has been a long time and I felt it. The first few laps were rough, then I found a good groove. Funny, I actually miss swimming. It made me feel so strong.

Julie was telling me how she has noticed in the last month my fire coming back. I told her to "WATCH OUT!"

I really feel in a good place with grief recovery over Selah. Oh I'm far from the end of the road, but feel I have made a huge turn. Last week in my reading I was hit with this:

John 10:1-4
"I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. 2The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. 3The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.

He has gone ahead of me and always will. I looked back and could vividly see him walking into the doctor's office before me. Walking the hall of labor/delivery before me. Touching our wonderful nurse on the way. So on and so on. And with that I have confindence on whatever obstacles I may face on this life's journey. Satan will not win, He can not have my health or anything!

Well that fans the flame on the fire!!!

I'm done with the circuit for today. All before 8:30! Yippee.

My plan was to do cardio at the high school last night. Since I had dinner at Pappasito's, that fell flat. Just like the Lord's mercies are new every morning; so are the chances of starting cardio - again!!!

I'm diggin' the new routine. It's hard, but takes much less time.

Done...

Well I'm done with the new workout for today. I started a day late, but let's face it. It is VERY hot and humid here in Houston. I was going to do it after dark last night, but it was still just too much. At least now I am done for the day....

Walking Lunges w/ Curls 2 sets
Squats w/ Overhead press 2 sets
Stiff legged deadlift w/ Rows 2 sets
Plank 5
Bridge 2 sets
Dips 2 sets

Of course I did it wrong, I think I always do that the first time with a new routine. It supposed to be circuits and I just did it normal. Next time!

Amazing how these are exercises I have been doing for a while, just not all together. How different it feels and more work it takes when compounding the exercises. I'm going to like this.

Have a great day! I know I'm going to: pedi's and at the club pool all day!

New Workout

Julie and I are beginning our new summer shape-up on Monday. I'm pretty excited about it. It think it will help us to get more motivated to be doing something new. I will be visiting my parents for the week; so our plan for accountability is: I will blog my w/o each day and she will comment!
Here's to new beginnings.

Thoughts

WOW! Alot has been going on the past week, from planning G's 3rd birthday party to helping Paul get the duplex ready for new renters...hope we find some soon. Anyway, I've been thinking about stuff, one being the routine Julie and I have been doing for a couple months. It's supposed to be a 3 month plan, but has taken us quite a bit longer.

Now being in the homestretch, it is getting increasingly hard to make certain days, it's summer, putting us further behind. I felt we were trying to finish it for the sake of not quitting. We've discussed it, and we are going to put that plan aside and begin our summer routine we found. It will allow us more freedom, if we can't make it to the gym, we can still do it at home or wherever we are. THAT is what we need right now. This actually pumps me up and am very excited about starting it. I think I needed that, I was getting weighed down by our other one.

One last final thought. I final put real words to my eating. I really am not doing it out of emotions, it is more control. So much has happened the last several months that are completely out of my control...eating is not. I can control every single good thing and bad thing that goes in my mouth. In that control I have given myself freedom to be overdulgent, self indulgent, and will completely justify it. WOW! Ssssooooo guess what I am going to be working on?

Legs and Cardio

I feel I am finally getting back into the groove...

3 sets of 10 reps, last set drop weight
leg press 140, 140, 120
leg extension 75, 75, 65 killer
deadlifts 55, 55, 45
lying leg curl 50, 50, 40
rotary calf machine 90, 90, 90

20minutes on treadmill, random hills at 3.5. yes, that is slow - but my body is just now responding to cardio. amazing how Selah's birth and all that trauma affected my body.

i'm feeling stronger physically. mentally...working on it.