Thursday, February 19, 2009

One Week

It has been a week since we lost Little One. Very slowly my life is becoming "real" again. Who knows how long it will take for this to really sink in as my story. For the most part I have a positive God outlook. There are still days/moments/hours that are very difficult. Yesterday being one of them. I went in for blood work, to see if my count has gone back up...hopefully to find out today what it is. Naturally I have not been cleared for activities like working out. I look forward to it, I have a lot of sweat and tears to leave on that floor, bike trail, treadmill. Watch out Julie!

You know our pregnancy was a welcomed surprise, but it did swing my mindset a complete 180. So I dealt with new svelt body to preg body. Now it's preg body to what do I do with this body. It is a minor emotion on the list of all the others I have, but a very real one. I lost a part of me and am now empty and confused. The Lord does have a plan for my life...I feel right now as if I'm standing in a muddy river along that plan/journey for my life. God is so good and will bring me out of the river...until then to His face will I look.

Psalm 34 (The Message)
18 If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath. 19 Disciples so often get into trouble; still, God is there every time.

2 comments:

Christy@pipandsqueak said...

Praying for you friend. I know it is hard and there are so many emotions flooding your mind right now.

Amy said...

Last night at my older daughter's music program they quoted that exact memory verse from Isaiah that you have at the top. I cried through the whole program as I was reminded that whatever hardships He has in store for us, we can rest in Him. My heart aches for you guys but I am encouraged by your testimony of His hand on you throughout this emotional journey.